One Way Ticket To Hell... And Back

"One Way Ticket To Hell... And Back" is a mixed bag. On the one hand you have the familiar power chord driven glam guitar rock from The Darkness's first album, the stellar "Permission to Land." On the other hand you have a band that sounds like it went so far over the top in terms of production values and sound structures that it's even harder to take seriously. Getting past the initial 'What the heck?' stage those the least bit familiar with The Darkness will instantly appreciate what the band has accomplished.

Like I said, this album retains some of the familiar sounds of the first album. The gloriously flamboyant solos and falsetto lyrical works of Justin Hawkins is trademark The Darkness. But that really only covers about one third of the tracks on the album. The others suffer from an identity crisis. For example, the title track has a sitar solo. The song "Hazel Eyes" synthesizes a guitar to sound like bagpipes and is then used to play a blatantly East Asian hook all while singing about a girl from Scotland. There are songs about the fear of balding, "Bald." Songs about falling in love with a cafeteria worker, "Dinner Lady Arms." And the wickedly catchy song about the awkwardness of making love when you haven't done it in a while, "Knockers."

Those familiar with The Darkness and their first album "Permission to Land" generally fall into either the 'love it' or 'hate it' camps, and you can expect the same reaction for their sophomore release. Love it or hate it, though, you have to appreciate a band bold enough to go where The Darkness went and do it with such bravado that one can't help but to be enchanted on some rock and roll loving level.

Grade = B+

DAAAAAA warriors

I'm not going to lie. I decided to watch this because of the game. I didn't want to play it without having seen the film, and it looked intriguing, so here I am.

A gang called The Warriors is framed for killing a gang leader trying to unite all the gangs in the area. With other gangs gunning for them they must get back to the home turf of Coney Island. The movie follows their journey back to Coney Island through a city swarming with gangs out for vengeance.

This is generally regarded as a cult flick, but I can't understand why. Film snobs may turn their nose up at the over the top costumes and the comic book themes, but they need to stop being so elitist and appreciate how all the elements work with one another. There's a stylistic flare that makes the simple scenario fun to watch. There's a lot done right here and it's definitely worth checking out if you're in the mood for a fun movie done really well. And now I'm kind of pumped to start playing the game.

A note about the special edition DVD: the transfer is magnificent. The image is clean and crisp and the sound is top notch. There are also some good extras to round out the package.

Grade = B+

Sabrina (1954) v. Sabrina (1995)

Humphrey Bogart versus Harrison Ford, William Holden versus Greg Kinnear, and Audrey Hepburn versus Julia Ormond. In the end the classical Hollywood stars may edge the contemporary stars individually, but on the battle ground known as "Sabrina" I have to award the victory to the 1995 team. It's a close call, but having just finished viewing the original years after having seen the remake I can't help but feel a little disappointed. The narrative is slow, the characters are wooden, and the story, though familiar and delightful, is kind of uninteresting.

In comparison the remake corrects many of the mistakes the original made. The characters are more fleshed out and believable. The scenarios are more pertinent to the plot. Everything just works a lot better. Even the character Sabrina is more intriguing, which you'd think would be impossible considering Audrey Hepburn is the quintessential charming girl.

In the end fans of classical Hollywood cinema, like myself, will appreciate the original, but everyone else would probably enjoy the remake much more.

Sabrina (1954) = C+
Sabrina (1995) = B

Schultze gets the blues (2003)

This is a heart touching story from an unlikely place. Shultze, the story's protagonist, is a recently retired mine worker that also plays the accordion. With an abundance of time on his hands he finds his taste in music suddenly changes. This is kind of a big deal, as it is the catalyst for the rest of the events in the film. You may think it sounds kind of dumb, because it does, but the subtlety of the acting and the unique cinematography lend to endear you to the characters. In other words, this makes it not dumb. After viewing it and researching it a bit I found that it did very well on the European film festival circuit winning several awards at multiple events. It's not epic or life altering. It's simple film that reminds us of how good simple cinema can really be.

Grade = B+

Shadow of the Colossus

This game comes from the creators of Ico, which explains the strange, beautiful, hauntingly empty art direction. And, like Ico, this game is far from main stream. In Shadow your quest is to rescue a girl... from death. You're charged with 16 impossible tasks, or one quest that's impossible x16 depending on how you look at it. Each task has you roaming the vast, empty land in search of a colossus.



Yep, the game amounts to a series of boss fights, each one unique and challenging. But you're probably thinking about bosses you've encountered in other games. Think about the largest boss you've ever taken on in another game the imagine something that could step on whatever you were thinking about and you've got some idea about what you're up against. There's a trick to beating each one and the game is all about figuring out what that trick is. There are no items to collect, towns to visit, or people to trade with to slow you down. Just you and your trusty horse obeying a large booming voice in a temple.

The game can be short if you're only out to complete the main quest, but despite a lack of anything traditional to do you'll be missing out on a lot. The game's world is so vast and painstakingly detailed that you'll want to visit all corners of it just to go and look. It's a virtual vacation, evoking emotions of peace and tranquility between fights. And why not go exploring? The girl is dead, she's not going anywhere.

There's a lot of praise to be said for this really unique and beautiful game, but there are some issues. The PS2 can't handle all the beauty the disc throws at it. Despite some clever rendering tricks the developers used the game will suffer some frame rate issues every once in a while, when the action gets really intense. The controls can get a little wonky, too, especially when trying to move from horseback to colossi back, as some stages will have you do. But these don't detract from one of the best games of 2005.

Grade = A-

Ico

If you are at all familiar with "Ico" then you're probably aware that it's a critical darling and I'm about to just verbally love this game. I am therefore going to write this as if you had no idea what "Ico" was about.

You, a young boy named Ico, are exiled from you village for having horns and are locked in a large mysterious castle. By chance you escape your cell and are attempting an escape when you stumble across a mysterious, pale, young maiden named Yorda.

What follows is a quest to escape... the both of you. Unfortunately Yorda isn't very agile. Actually, that's an understatement. Throughout your quest you will constantly be attending to her every need as shadowy castle demons attempt to take her back. Essentially, the game amounts to be a 6-8 hour escort mission.

Combat is simple leading you to focus more on the obstacles the massive castle puts you up against on your way out, and protecting the girl.

This is truly a unique video game and probably unlike anything you've ever played before. Despite some of the tedium involved in protecting the girl you'll find yourself caring for her. The greatest strength of this game is that it fosters emotions, something very few titles can accomplish.

The art style is minimalist, yet awe inspiring. The camera is very cinematic and is handled for you. It's controllable, though, for those times you need to look around to see what's what. The few things you'll find yourself questioning is the game's length and a few trials at some seemingly easy puzzles the camera, in its fixed position, will make more difficult.

Overall, if you have a PS2 and like unique gaming experiences this one shouldn't be missed.

Grade = B+

Mario Kart DS

Mario Kart addicts, casual fans of the series, and newbies unite and rejoice in the glory that is Mario Kart DS. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the fine people at Nintendo have realized that they do have the potential to make (nearly) the perfect game, and it is this. There are 32 total tracks. There are 16 new and 16 classic tracks included in those 32. There are 12 different characters. There are a couple dozen karts to choose from for each. There is online play. There are bonus missions asking you to complete all sorts of odd jobs on different courses.

What isn't there? An exucse not to play the best Mario Kart yet. There are a few hiccups when trying to connect online, and a messaging system would have been nice, but these aren't faults. They're simply the gaming public being greedy and always wanting more. It's our nature.

Specifically, this edition of Kart handles well enough for having a D-pad and no stick. The graphics are impressive considering the platform. The AI is ferociously good in some cases, but that only adds to the fun. The new items aren't earth shatteringly awesome, but they're a good batch of new goodies to say the least. Oh, the Bill-bullet item... best Mario Kart item... ever. Online play is smooth, if you can connect. The new tracks are some of the most creative yet. The old tracks - let's just say better old tracks could have been chosen.

Is Mario Kart DS perfect? It's damn close.

Grade = A-